Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
