Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I could fuck to npr.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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