those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
