Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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