How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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