We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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