I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How external is "for external use only"?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
