HIV tests are more positive than that guy
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
