I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
