Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize