Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
