he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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