She announced her abortion via fbk
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
