guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
