So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
