i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
