He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
