Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
