just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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