just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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