Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
