i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
