Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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