the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
