I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
