yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
