Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
