My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
