We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
