I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
