Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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