Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize