He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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