So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
