fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
