She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
