her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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