At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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