Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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