Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
