i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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