Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
