I hate all girls vehemently.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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