You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
