i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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