So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Randomize
