But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
They have beer where we have blood.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
