we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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