I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
