I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
