oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize