My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
There's even glitter on my cock...
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