have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
