i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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