Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
