If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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