remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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