The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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