I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
