i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
