That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
